What I Have Learned Since Getting Engaged.

So here I am standing outside the movie theater waiting for my beautiful fiancé to arrive. 7 days ago I proposed to her on Dauphin Island and couldn’t be more thrilled to marry her next year come this time. As I stand here my mind is pondering; as it always is. I am pondering about some of the things God has been teaching me these past couple of months and especially these past couple of days regarding relationships, marriage, commitment, leadership, surrender and so much more.

photo taken by Vic Bedingfield

Now, I understand I am not married yet, so this article is not about what marriage is like. However, this article IS about a 23 year old guy who just proposed a week ago to the girl of his dreams and has no idea what the future may hold, but is so excited to embark on the new journey with God and her by his side!

     Yes, you read that right: I am 23. I do want to be married (or “tied down” as the world would say) and yes, I am a little scared about what it will be like to be married and what all comes with it. I do not have EVERYTHING figured out and I do not know what is to come. However, I do know that I am not alone and I do know that I am willing to compromise or do whatever it takes to make the relationship work/ last. Lastly, I do know that I do not want anyone else BUT HER, so I am not afraid to be committed to her because God is committed to me.

  • The point of this article is NOT to convince you to propose (especially if you are not ready) but to help you think things through in regards to how serious relationships and marriage are.
  • However, if you ARE considering taking the next step in life (and you are a young adult) but have no idea if you should or not, then I want to let you know that you are not alone.

I hear so many people say all the time, “Do not get married young. You should wait until you have a good job and become financially stable before getting married.” Physically, I do agree with that statement very much, but spiritually I agree only to an extent.

Now I am not sure what your personal relationship with Christ is like, but for me I relate relationships and marriage to my relationship with God and what His word says. He wants to marry us (to bind together as one). Plain and simple.

photo taken by Vic Bedingfield

     When I read His word all I see Him saying to me is to, “Come to me just as you are. You do not have to have it all figured out. I want to marry you right now because I want you, because I love you and because you are worth it. And lastly, you do not have to be financially stable in order to start a relationship with me. All I ask is that you trust me… Do you trust me?

     Jesus never once said, “Ummm… I’m going to need you to have everything figured out FIRST. Actually, show me how much money you have right now and THEN I will consider starting a relationship with you or not.” That is not Him and never will be. (I could go on with this topic for hours, but I will leave it there for now)

God’s word tells us in Isaiah 62:5, “As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you.” God wants to be committed to us and grow with us through every obstacle we may face together in the future whether good or bad. He wants to marry us so that we can be one with Him throughout life.

The same should be true about us as well if we call ourselves a Follower of Christ. We should want to be one with Him.

     The same verse goes on to say, “as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.” The verse is stating that just as a young couple rejoices over each other God will rejoice over us when we enter into a relationship with Him as well.

     Remember, our relationship and pursuit of the other person we are dating should reflect our relationship with God. It should also reflect God’s relationship and pursuit for us as well; especially as a man.

Here are two main things I have learned since getting engaged to my fiancé that have really helped and encouraged me to take that next step.

1) If I surrender my relationship, life and plans to God I do not have to stress, worry or be afraid of whatever may come my way in the future.

We tend to think too far ahead most of time in order to plan for the future, which is not a bad thing to do because it allows us to be prepared. However, if we allow it to control our mind and consume our thoughts it can lead to or bring stress, worry and anxiety upon us. However, if we surrender everything to God including our relationship with our girlfriend He will guide us throughout life. It’s scripture proven at least in my book!

That is why I have chosen to surrender my life, my relationship and my plans over to God because He knows what is to come and where I will be a year from now, 5 years from now, 20 years from now and so on.

Bible verses to think about:

  • Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭6-7
  • For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah‬ ‭29‬:‭11‬
  • We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps. Proverbs‬ ‭16‬:‭9

2) We are not guaranteed tomorrow; we are only guaranteed today.

Nothing in this life is guaranteed. Our jobs are not guaranteed, our health is not guarantee, money is not guaranteed, etc. Only Jesus and Jesus alone is guaranteed.We can have the greatest job, we can have loads of money, we can drive the nicest car, we have own the biggest house, but if we do not have Jesus; we truly have nothing.

Why do I share this you may ask? Because anything can happen. We can lose our jobs, we can get sick or badly injured one day or we could even get into a car accident and possibly die tomorrow. I do not share this to scare you. I share it to make you think about how fragile life can be and how quickly life can vanish.

That is the second reason why I have chosen to get engaged now; because I am not guaranteed tomorrow. I want to know that I was married to the girl God created for me to love.

Final bible verses to ponder on:

  • “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?… Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew‬ ‭6‬:‭25, 34
  • You do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. James‬ ‭4‬:‭14‬
  • Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring. Proverbs‬ ‭27‬:‭1‬
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